my 2009 life as it seems

I would like to start the first babbling in this year by greeting you all a
It's a new year, hence it's a new beginning for all of us.
Let's face the year ahead with the best that we can give to the world and live each day without any regrets :)

Anyhow, ignorant as I always be, I started this year without much enthusiasm - thinking about how life will be the same as always. Lazing around, watching TV and doing nothing - not even making a list of what to do in this year nor a New Year Resolution.

As the year started, I didn't think much of what I want to be or how I'm gonna live my life. I just want to enjoy my moment of freedom, so I was as carefree as I can be and ignored every questions that were pointing at me, asking me to decide my future as soon as possible.

Well, this is what I found kinda scary. Soon, I'm going to graduated from high school. Time is not stopping for me, and I've got to decide on how I'm going to lived my life. Phew, what a question it is. I can't be a kid again this year, I must be a fully grown up. And a grown-ups' life is surely full of problem, I hate that. I hate problems. Sometimes I wished I was Peter Pan, one who never grew up. But, it is not likely to happened.

So, after a few days, I thought a lot. I thought about my life. How my 2009 has been going - not really well on some part I supposed, but somehow I found difference in my life. I'm not who I used to be. I'm growing up - without me noticing it. I should have find it as a scary thing, as I hated growing up so much, but instead I find it funny.

I've faced a lot of problems, problems that made me break down and cried so many times. (As I recalled, I remember I cried a lot in 2009) Even at some point, I thought about suicide - which was really a crazy thing.


I thanked God because I'm still sane and alive till this time :)

Okay, so this is getting more and more awkward. I ain't going to babbled about this again, it's weird to see how my writing style changed. LOL. Well, to tell the truth, I've a lot of change inside me myself - even from the smallest thing that seems unimportant.

Well then, whatever peeps, I'm still here by the way. I'm still me. Even if everything changed, I'm still and going to be me :)