love quotes suit me well enough

Well then, it's a new month. So sorry I haven't got the chance to post something yesterday. Anyway let's greet a new month with a smile in our face (and laugh yourself if you got fool yesterday LOL)

I'm having a cartwheel test at Physical Ed. today, and guess what I managed to do it, well, not that good, but it is fine enough that I got 80!! Woohooo... , that sure is something because before today, I never practiced how to do a cartwheel - I never done it before. I only done it once or twice when the teacher asked me to, and it's certainly not perfect. Before it, I can't even do it perfectly on the mattress, but when it is my turn (to be tested), I choose to do it on the floor rather than the mattress. Rather silly, ain't it? But guess what!? I managed to do it WELL on the floor! Yay! *clap-clap*

You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving.
Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it.
It is
your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
- Hermann Hesse

You know, I found these quotes just now and somehow I think it fits me quite well. When I found these, it suddenly struck me in the heart. 'Cos you know, lately, I've been hating and distrusting by what they called as 'love'. It definitely is a long story on how I became like this. I was hurt so many times that I don't know what to trust anymore. It feels like I was losing love - again.

And you know, it's funny that lately, it seems like my eyes are drawing to see him again. To search for his shadow again. I even gazed at him at today's P.E lesson. I hate him, for taking my first love out of me and never care to give it back. I'm scare of this feeling, the moment I started to search for his shadow again, it's dangerous. I just plainly hate him cos he seems to be reappearing in my life again.

I know, it's like I never walked out of my past and stuck there inside of him. Pitying myself till it came to the point where I started to hate 'love', but how can I love when there's nobody to love?
Is it true that it is my aversion that makes me suffer?

One of the things I needed to learn was to allow myself to be loved
- Isha McKenzie-Mavinga

Or maybe, it's not entirely his fault. *sigh* I want to find my own special someone. Someone who will accept the-already-broken-mess inside of me - accept me for who I am.